Home.

How do you explain to a toddler that "Home is Where the Heart Is?" We really thought that after 4 months of California Living, that Finn was pretty well adjusted. Yesterday, at 4pm, Finn had another thought in mind. He was bound and determined to be homeward bound. And by "home" he meant Mesa. He was crying. Bawling. Tears streaming down his face. "Go go home MESAAAAAAAA." I think it was probably a combination of being a little too tired, and wanting to keep riding in the car. But it's not the first time he's mentioned it. I wonder if he thinks we're just visiting this little cottage with all of his toys and clothes so nicely organized for him. With his cozy bed that's just his size. With a snuggly little sister waiting to make him smile. With parents that act on his every beck and call. Love him. Strive every day to make this new home, well, home. It's tough being a little guy. I can see every day that Finn has quite a big spirit. He has big emotions, bigger than his little body. He has big energy. A big heart. And sometimes he doesn't know how to make all that bigness feel like a manageable size.

Monday nights are usually special nights in an LDS home. We have Family Home Evening (often called simply Family Night). We get together and spend time as a family. It's different each week for each family. Stay in and share a spiritual message. Go out and do something fun (go on a drive, have an outing). (I secretly long for family game night, as nerdy as that may sound. But sadly Wes doesn't share my affinity for Scattergories, and Maya's knowledge of the alphabet is just barely coming along.) With 2 small kiddos Family Night usually consists of simply trying to spend some time together and paying special attention to the kids. Sometimes we manage to wriggle in a short spiritual thought (like 30 seconds short), and sometimes it's just Wes and Finn wrestling on the rug. Anything to make our time together feel more like "home."

But it's been rough since Wes started school. And Finn can tell. Tonight the babies were asleep (and almost me, too) by the time Wes got home. Family night turned into "get the kids to bed by 7:30 before meltdowns ensue." There will be lots of days and nights while Wes is at AFI that it will be just me and kiddos, while we miss Dadda. So, Finn, I just want to let you know that even though we're being a little unconventional for these next 2 years, we are home. You make it home. It is home, because you are with us, and we love you. Now let's have a lollipop and snuggle.

Sunday Faces

OK, I admit it. These are from last Sunday. But things are hectic around here this week. So I thought these would do just fine. Finn has a new tricycle courtesy of Grandma and Papa Johnson. He's still trying to figure out the pedals... :)

Maya's eyes are getting greener!

Soup's On!

New Culinary Banners over at Beautify My Blog...

Bumbo Baby

Just thought I'd share some photos of how cute Maya is in her Bumbo chair:

We had a long day...

Mastering the Art

Last night I got to sneak out and see Julie & Julia. I LOVED it. For many reasons. I loved the relationships, the actors and their performances, the food. I actually wrote a whole blog post in my mind while nursing Maya at midnight last night. But it's too bad that thoughts can't transfer straight to blogdom, because they all dissolved into dreamland. Suffice it to say, I wish I owned the film, and could watch it immediately. Right now. While eating brie, bread, and grapes.
I laughed my way through the entire film. And when it was over I did what any responsible food-loving, fellow blogger would do—I walked right into Barnes and Noble and bought the last copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking! I then felt immediately idiotic. The book store, being right next to the theater, was totally on to this trend. When I went up to pay, the guy at the register said (in a half-chuckle), " Did Julie & Julia just let out? This is our last copy. You got lucky!" So I did what anyone in this situation would do. I lied. "No, it's just a gift." (Well it IS a gift to myself...) He looked doubtful, but I felt really silly rushing in to the store JUST to buy a cookbook that I would never have otherwise bought, right after being inspired by a movie. Hmmmm. Do you think I am crazy? Paranoid? Possibly. :) But either way, I walked happily back to my car, book in hand.

So I have resolved to do just what Julie did in the movie. I am going to cook all of the recipes in 365 days time.

YEAH RIGHT!!!

No, I promise I am going to do just the opposite. I actually have the book on my bed stand, not in the kitchen. I started reading the foreword last night. I know that most of the recipes in this volume will have to be saved for a later, more child-free period of my life. But I hope to take away some of her wonderful methods and more simple fare for now. And while realism is mostly holding me back from tackling the feat of French food, I realized something while thumbing through the pale pages last night. The REAL reason I know that I am not so much suited for the content of the book, is because of my reaction to the book itself. Instead of drooling over ingredients, I found myself admiring the teal and rust color choice for the cover design. (The pastedown and fly leaf are the same rich teal—delightful discovery!) I fingered the delicate gold leaf flourish adorning the cover. I beamed when I noticed that on the last page of the book that they listed—prominently—the typeface that the book was printed in. I admired the subtle tooth of the cream paper stock. Sigh. I can't deny that my forte lies not in the kitchen, but on the keyboard. I should be wielding a mouse and pen, not a mortar and pestle. My paper of choice is watercolor, rather than wax. And while I admire and enjoy the culinary arts, the graphic arts are what keep me happy and well. "They are the butter to my bread; the breath to my life."

In the mean time, I'll be looking into hiring a cook. I pay in blog design and notecards. Any takers?

Picture Window

Today is a work day for me. I admit I am still in PJs. Finn has climbed up on the couch next to me. He asked to watch a movie, but I couldn't find the remote for the living room television. So he decided to "watch a movie" out of our large living room window. So far he says he's seen Raptors, a fight (involving swords), a cowboy, some little dogs (probably really there), and "worker guy" (referring to the gardeners).

Things heard around our house this Monday morning

Sorry. I slacked on Sunday Faces. I took photos, but didn't post them. So those are coming soon. In the mean time, we had a funny morning with Finn. All this before 10am:

Finn: "Hi, Dada"
Me: "I'm Mama."
Finn: "No, you Dada. I Maya."
Me: "Oh, you're Maya today?"
Finn: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok. Hi, Maya!"
Finn: "Hi, Ma---Dada!!" :)
___________________________

"I want to play hitting!"
___________________________

(Referring to Little Mermaid)
Finn: "Mama, too scary! TOO SCARY!!"
Me: "Do you want to watch a different movie?"
Finn: "Yeah."
Me: "OK, what do you want to watch instead?"
Finn: "Jurassic Park!"

Back soon!

Taking a little break to get a few necessaries done around this place. But Sunday Faces will probably sneak it's way in. ;)

In other news, Maya had a 6 month check-up. She is a whopping 15 pounds, that delicate little flower-o-mine. The doctor had a hard time testing out her new skills, because Maya was trying to stay in a permanent crunch position when laid flat, or standing on her tippy toes when help upright. Silly girl. We're on to solid foods full steam ahead, now. I was advised to try carrots. Carrots it is. Brace yourself, Maya. It's gonna get messy!

New over at Beautify My Blog:

Working on my brother's wedding blog this week inspired me to get a few new designs cooking over at Beautify My Blog. See them HERE.

Want to know where Greg and Katia are gettin' hitched? ....

Just a little note to say how much I care.

Dear Little Tykes,
Thanks for making the Cozy Coupe. I bet you thought I was going to stop there. Nope! Thanks for making the Cozy Coupe the most difficult thing that I have ever assembled in my entire life. EVER. Thanks for making no actual pre-drilled screw holes, allowing me to learn the new skill of hand-screwing blunt screws straight into high-quality plastic. (I would give you guys the thumbs up for high-quality plastic, but I gouged a chunk out of my thumb while I was trying to screw into said plastic.) It was also lovely having the opportunity to hammer onto solid metal. The fact that it was a slender, rounded, metal post made it even more enjoyable, as my teeth-rattling hammer kept glancing off the edge, threatening to kill my toddler waiting in the wings. And I truly do appreciate that I skinned my knee, roughed up my elbow (while muffling a curse word), and almost broke the door off the blessed car as it flew out from under me while I was trying to attach the roof (since you recommend attaching the wheels first). In the end it turned out pretty well. The car has a nice "broken-in" feel with random scrapes and smudges acquired while I wrestled the cute new eyeballs onto the front of the car. It was refreshing to work outside in the heat of the day for 3 hours while sweating bullets. It was especially nice to meet two new neighbors I have never met before in the midst of my sweat-fest and random outbursts of near-hysteria. And how convenient that I have so many random screws and thing-a-ma-bobbers left over for my toddler to choke on, or poke his little sister with. I really hope those were "just in case" extras, and not something I missed in the 29+ steps of your instruction pages. Actually, it's quite remarkable that my blistered fingers are even able to type this letter. I hate your guts Keep up the good work over there at Little Tykes!
Sincerely yours,

CuisineNie

Anyone who has visited Beautify My Blog has probably learned 2 things:
1. I design all things blog.
2. I don't do custom work.

Or that's what you think! :) Well, actually, I really don't. But I did keep a few custom clients/friends that are my very favorite to work on, and I make custom changes every so often. Stephanie Nielson over at NieNie Dialogues is one of them. But did you know that her delicious blog, CusisineNie is back in action? And I was able to design her new look. I had SO much fun putting it together for her! It might be my favorite banner I've done. So check it out by clicking on the button below:

Sunday Faces

Straight out of the iPhone. Not too shabby, that little camera!

I get by with a little help...

Apparently when I am out in public alone (which is rare) I come across as a woman-in-need. In need of what I am not entirely sure. But I get "looks." When I was younger they were better looks. I do still get the occasional approving look, but mostly it's the "I feel so sorry for you that your son is screaming for fruit snacks" look. Tonight, however, I was getting odd looks. Maybe it was the glossed over expression I wore as I wandered into Ralph's grocery store at 10pm, blinded by the bright produce section and flashing smiles of a greeter and security guard. "Can we help you find something Miss?" Um...Mrs. but sure, "Where are those wipes used to wipe down the carts so we all don't contract Swine Flu or a staff infection?" "Oh, we empty those out at 9pm." Hmmm. I was asked no less than 5 times tonight if I needed help. And I'm not talking the friendly, we're asking because it's our great pleasure to do so, type of asking. People were leaning in to get a good look at me—a concerned look—and then asking. Asking as if I might start crying if they didn't ask carefully. Was I radiating the end of a stressful day? Was it pathetically obvious that I was way over-enjoying the only time I had to myself: the short ride in Wes's zippy car to the local grocery store? Maybe I was just being paranoid, but strange things were afoot at the Circle K (name that movie).

Let's back up a minute, though. When I am sporting Maya in the Baby Bjorn and trying to lift Finn into the cart at the same time, why is no one asking if I need some help? When I'm pushing the ginormous "car on the front of the cart for your toddler's pleasure" cart, and it starts rolling dangerously down the incline on which my car is parked, with Finn still inside, while I'm unloading groceries into my trunk, where is the helpful hand then? When Finn has dropped his plastic dinosaur for the umpteenth time and it's caught under the wheels of someone else's cart (Maya sill Bjorn-style), why am I the one fishing it out from between their greasy wheels while they watch with pursed lips? And the comment of choice is always, "My, you sure have your hands full!" Yep. I sure do! Now offer to help me carry my groceries out. When did that trend die out? It's hard enough for me to muster the courage to leave the house for a trip to the store with 2 unpredictable kids under 3. The least you can do is help me push my cart out the automatic door. Hurumph.

Back to this evening. I think maybe it was because they had to ask me 3 times if plastic was OK and I answered, "Yeah...no...I mean, that's fine I guess..." (because they were already bagging by then). Or possibly because I had diapers, cool whip (in the spray can), and 5 varieties of sauces from the condiment aisle, that made me vulnerable. But the nice gentleman ringing up my groceries asked twice if I needed help to my car (like I might forget where I had parked). "I'm fine, thank you!" (In my most awake/alert voice I could manage.) Then I had to wait a short minute for the lady bagging to finish sacking up my sudries. When she was done she asked me again if I need help out to my car. "No thank you! Have a good night!" (As chipper as I could be.) Then she LEANED IN and said, "Have a good night, sweetie." A very concerned look crossed her face. It even took me off guard. I mean, she might as well have patted my arm and offered to call me a cab. The security guard eyed me on the way out. It didn't help that the cart snuck away as I was returning it to its happy home. I think I saw him shake his head as he closed that side of the store up for the night.

So what is it? Do I look that exhausted? I could be slouching, I suppose. Do I need a little blush? Maybe I look peaked. But whatever it is, I'm going to try to replicate my "10pm shopping state" the next time I have Finn and Maya with me. And I'm milking it for all it's worth!

Post Edit: Ralph's is open 24-hours. So I know they weren't rushing me out. They close up one entrance at 11pm, but otherwise they are open all night.

Half of a Whole

Maya is 6 months today.

They make a great pair. Such sweet little blessings have I.

The Towers

A wonderful childrens' book based on a true story. Find it HERE.


Post Edit: This book is, indeed, about Philippe Petit. There is an excellent documentary about him. To see my post about it, visit HERE.

Bottoms Up

Finn wearing Nature Babycare diapers

A month ago I posted about G Diapers, HERE. And while I do love the concept of the G Diapers, there were some drawbacks. Namely in the department of super messy grossness. I was having to run loads of laundry like 3 times a day, because Maya was pooping out of them. And I had to keep rewashing the diapers so that I would have clean ones on hand. And three + loads of laundry a day is TOO many. In my mind, it quickly crosses the line from being an eco-conscious decision, to a wasteful one. And I might as well be using totally cloth diapers if I am going to make that commitment. So after a kind e-mail session with a lady over at G Diapers, we determined that Maya was just too small for the size I bought, but bordering on being too big for the smallest size. Her recommendation? Wait until Maya is a bit plumper, then try again. So I still plan to try the G Diapers again when she's a little older.

In the mean time, I have been determined to stay eco-friendly in this messy business that is diapering. I don't want to fill up a landfill with diapers that don't break down. Something has come over me. I just can't do it. But I am not enough of a "green mom" to go all the way out and do cloth diapers (not to mention Wes won't even go there). I admire you, green mamas, I really do. So I found a VERY happy solution!


Nature Babycare, developed by a Swedish mother that felt like there just HAD to be a better solution for disposable. I am in love with these diapers. They are disposable, but compostable, as well (just like the G Diaper inserts)! The diapers get their absorbency from wood pulp (harvested sustainably from forests in Scandinavia), and are made without oil-based plastics, chlorine, latex, or fragrances. And they make teeny preemie sizes all the way up to training pants. They use gentle earth-friendly processes in the making of the diapers, and they completely break down in less than 10 years. They work just as well as all of the other brands of diapers I have tried. My kiddos no longer have diaper rash, to boot. They aren't as soft as, say, Pampers Swaddlers, but I don't hear my little ones complaining. They have stretchy tabs and a cute leaf pattern on the diapers. Find them HERE.

Only problem? They are elusive. So where to get them?

Solution: Diapers.com. Spend $50, and you get free 2-day shipping. And in my case, since I live in California, it's overnight shipping! I ordered diapers last night at 5:30 and just had the box delivered to my door at noon today. That's service! I couldn't have made it to the store that fast with both kids in tow today. And if you go to diapers.com as a first time customer, you can get $10 off a $50 purchase with the code: BRANDNEW or AFFL10. And in my household, it's not hard to fill my e-cart to the brim with $50 worth of diapers.

Now there is one more problem in this equation. Why use a compostable diaper that breaks down if you don't put it in a biodegradable trash bag? I agree. I was using BioBags (made from corn), but they are a bit unfriendly to the nose when filled with stinky diapers. So I actually opted for a Diaper Dekor diaper pail. They are the only diaper disposal system that has biodegradable bags. They are TOUGH, and have a light vanilla (?) smell. So far, so good! I mean, I can't trash Finn's dirty diapers in them (they go straight outside), but that's the case for any diaper pail I've had. Find it HERE.

There is also the issue that all these bags of diapers just go into a landfill and don't breakdown anyway. This may be true. But if you live in some Southern California cities (not mine yet, unfortunately) there is a diaper composting service that takes care of this for you. And they use Nature Babycare diapers for their services. It's called Earth Baby, and you can find them HERE.

I still feel better knowing that the diapers I am throwing away could break down under the right circumstances. I sleep a little better at night. And if you read this blog even a little bit, you know that is something I need. :) Happy diapering!

They should pay me to endorse these products. Seriously...

**Note: One complaint online is that Nature Babycare diaper tabs don't stick to the diaper when wrapping up for disposal. But the tabs stick to themselves! So just wrap it up, and stick one tab over the other. Also, the toddler training pants are a bit bulky and run large. I have decided to stick with the size 5 diapers for Finn. They have a new comfort fit, and fit very well.

Little Swimmer

I made this up the other night, and Maya and Finn LOVE it! Try it out on your little ones. :)

The uphill battle

I had a dream early this morning. I was bicycling up a steep mountain path here in California. To my right was a deep canyon. And I was holding squirming Maya in my left arm, trying to balance her on my lap. I was trying to get the wimpy little bike to move more steadily up the hill, and I was just winding all over, with Maya fussing and squirming out of my grasp. I couldn't get a good foot hold on the pedals, and the front tire was all over the place. I kept tipping and having to put my foot down. A woman and her daughter came walking up (friends I recognized from church), and said, "Looks like you're having trouble. Maybe you should get off and walk for a little while." I sighed in frustration at the thought of going even more slowly. Then I heard Finn crying, and had to turn around entirely to go get him (wherever he was), and start the whole endeavor over again—this time with Finn on my bike, as well. I felt hopeless and a little helpless.

Obviously, this is completely indicative of my life right now. Finn has been a really difficult (albeit still adorable) little guy. He's given up naps, even though he clearly still needs them. He often falls asleep on the couch, his head on my shoulder, in total exhaustion around 4pm, but protests loudly if I try to move him. Then he fights bedtime, sometimes until 10pm! How he is capable of this escapes me. But it makes me crazy. Maya is still a little dear, but any 6 month old is still completely dependent, of course. And I can tell teeth are on the way. It's been very hot—too hot to play out of doors regularly. And then there is the fact that Wes is in school 6 days a week, for long hours. And it's only the beginning of year one!

I feel like I am starting out on the little bicycle, struggling up the hill some days. Yes, of course I am still happy. I haven't taken back my thoughts from THIS post on motherhood a few weeks ago. But everyone has difficult days, weeks, years. I don't like complaining. It gets me nowhere. But I can recognize the uphill battle. The good news is I know that fall is right around the corner. And at least that means heading up the trail with fall leaves on the ground and a cooler breeze in the air! Maybe I'll even invest in a bike that has a large bucket attached to the back for those squirmy kids of mine. ;) if only...